CTs Demand Repainting

Having been called on several bomb defusion missions, the famed counter-terrorism organization SEAL Team 6 demanded today the removal of red targets and X's from key areas in likely terrorist sites.

"It's pointless to have them there," one spokesperson said. "We still don't understand why the contractors and construction workers decided to paint large red marks on the ground in the optimal area for planting a bomb. We don't comprehend why they leave crates and boxes around the sites, either. It's just making the terrorists' job easier."

The SEAL spokesperson also asked for the removal of large "Hostage Rescue Point" signs that have been painted in certain locations on rescue missions.

"These contractors are making us look like morons. Being a highly trained counter-terrorism team, I think we'd know where to rescue hostages."

New Bots 'Too Lifelike,' Players Say

Counter-Strike players rallied together to protest the release of newly implemeneted Android AI bots into the game, claiming that the bots were using wall cheats and headshot scripts to win the game.

One player, [APA]PreacherBoy, complained about the recent tide of events. "I swear they act like real players! They shoot their teammates, travel around the map in random patterns, don't defuse or plant the bomb, and constantly get stuck in odd places on the map! And to add to that, I think they cheat!"

"I'm implementing many new features in the next version," quoted CS bot maker DaTa, "such as team flashbanging and knife origes. With the friendly fire variable on, things could become even more buckwild!"

(6)Android(skill 87) responded to the inflammatory remarks by running into a crate, jumping in place, and shooting at the ground.

747 Rolls Off Map, 22 Dead

Today, shocked witnesses and campers alike beheld a gruesome scene as the 747 of cs_747 was released of its parking brake and rolled backward, plunging off the map into nothingness.

"I h-h-had no idea this would happen," CT member and survivor [UGP]SirScoots said, obviously still in shock over the earlier events. "I was s-s-sitting in my usual spot, camping - overlooking, I mean - the opening up top when this g-g-guy named DuckCheese radioed for help in the cockpit. I followed him there with m-m-my scope, using my zoom feature to marvel at his tightly well forme...um, anyway he said something about 'what's this lever do?' and t-t-then the plane rolled back over the side. It was a shame, a bloody shame."

Another unnamed survivor also accounted to seeing the plane roll backwards with two startled terrorists on the wings, too busy staring in their radio scopes to notice their inevitable fate. The plane rolled backwards to the side of the "runway" and slipped off into the choppy background. All 10 Terrorists, 4 hostages, and 8 Counter-Terrorists are feared dead or extremely confused.

"I'm kind of lonely now," said beta tester Cheet as he sat on a crate, overlooking the void where the 747 once was placed. "No one wants to play 747 with me anymore because there's no more plane! I think they should change the map name to cs_goofy_building_with_parking_lot or something to that effect. Maybe it would have better if the plane actually had engines, y'know? Oh well, I'm going to go make some hot pockets now."